Hi Diary and God,

What a turbulent beginning to the holidays. and I think it's time I pour out the emotions.

Step 1) Why?;

Question God.

Why is this happening, right here, right now. With the impending trials, and the coinciding stress, I question Your Will. But like You say in Corinthians, there's always a way out?

Step 2) Realise something

Life isn't meant to be a easy. Well, and if it is, then maybe we're not stepping out in to vulnerability enough. I certainly feel vulnerable, I certainly feel like I'm somewhere I haven't been for a while, seeing some of those emotions and where they're stemming from. The feelings and emotions are okay, but what am I going to do with them? Will I be an ambassador of Christ, or will I be selfish?

Step 3) Reflect

Being made out to feel a bit like an idiot. Though thinking about it, that's sort of my fault for putting my feelings on the line... to a certain degree anyway. How many times have I sold-out to the world? Surely, that must have hurt God more than I've ever been hurt or am hurting. What am I doing? Is it time to be a little selfish...in my eyes, do I put precedence over what I'm going through over the other side? When these emotions cool down, I need to make the decision.

Step 4) What now?

Cool down. See the situation for what it is and don't let pride get in the way. Or feelings. Or anything. Be considerate. In all things, show love. Look to God.

in Christ's Blood,

Andrew