Christmas; A Christian feast commemorating the birth of Jesus.

After a long wait, Christmas is finally here tomorrow. For me, its been a time where I've been able to grow closer and closer to my school mates, sharing in the festive spirit by going out to carols, saying "Christmas keen" a lot, and just enjoying each others company. At church, Pastor Ben and Evelyn have explained reasons that we can 'cheer up' in the season, and why we can 'overcome'.

What is Christmas to me though...?

In a matter of around 2 weeks marks my '3rd birthday' of being a redeemed child of God, i.e., a Christian. As I look at my own life, I still see sin that is isn't dealt with. I still see friends who aren't informed about the gospel and its implications for their lives. I see a family that thoroughly needs your gift of salvation, yet it seems hard to do anything to work towards this. I see myself being put into leadership, platform leadership in fact, with youth camp coming up. I see myself being attacked from left right and center with temptation, confusion, frustration and anger. I see myself falling time and time again, falling lazier and lazier every day with Bible reading and prayer time.

In what is predominantly negative things (perhaps I'm just being cynical), the time of Christmas, when I weigh up my life alongside the birth of Jesus, is truly cause for me to rejoice and realign my life towards the one and true living God.

That Jesus came regardless of our failings, regardless of our sin which grips and controls us in almost every way (which he so very detests), is impossible to justify in words. All we can really do is appreciate our God and the fact He would stoop to our level, just so He would provide each and every one of us to know their Creator and His plan for their lives. I for one do appreciate this; more than I show a lot of the times. And I for one would love to grasp further God's plan for my life. I can trust, have faith, and believe that this is so because of Christmas; the birth of Jesus Christ.

Confusion and mystery (unhealthy mystery at that) has dictated my life for the last year. I've struggled to be motivated in my studies because deep down, I really had no idea where God wanted me to be in a years time. Since UAI's came out, I've been placed on a rollercoaster of emotions but one of my mates summed it up perfectly; 'we always act like we know everything but we don't. God does'.

Then there's the girl. Its rare for me to let a girl that close to me. I can count them on one hand actually haha. I don't think I could have encountered anyone more up and down. Anyone who has made me love and hate at the same time as she has done. All things considered, somehow I still value her above so many other things; probably testament to the amazing girl she really is. Even though I've been hurt, in a constant battle with my emotions, I've kept my message relatively clear and tried to apply my wrongs from other 'relationships' in making this particular friendship the best it could possibly be. God only knows what's going to happen in the next 2 months... I'll admit my fear that 'its gonna happen again' but I pray not.

Fitting that I end my blog on that note. Ultimately, it was never about HSC this year. It surprises me how little I actually cared and when I consider my subconcious goals for 08, all I wanted to do was grow in Christ and solidify my identity. And that I have most certainly done. I've gotten angry and cried, I've been happy and laughed, I've been up and down and thought I couldn't do it sometimes. But God. But God. But God came, this Christmas, to face it for Himself JUST so He could help us.

Now that's worth celebrating.